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[FWP] The Scottish Joke (was: bottles of beer)
On Mon, Aug 09, 1999 at 03:45:08PM -0400, Uri Guttman wrote:
> there was a thread in misc last december which covered this very issue
> in drunken depth. here is the link to my challenge post.
It is now time to reveal the horror that is...
THE SCOTTISH JOKE!
Yes, this weak-ass excuse for a joke has terrorized many a late night
crowd of party-goers. And now it is forever enshrined, protected in
its tattered cloak of poor ofbuscation, in Perl for the fovever
torture of the internet.
http://www.pobox.com/~schwern/src/ScottishJoke
#!/usr/bin/perl -w
use strict;
eval unpack('u*', <<'JOKE');
M;7D@0'-I>F5S(#T@<7<H;6%N('-Q=6%D('!L871O;VX@=&5A;2!C;VUP86YY
M(&)A='1A;&QI;VX@<F5G:6UE;G0@8G)I9V%D90H)"0D@("!D:79I<VEO;BD[
M"@IM>2`E;G5M,G=O<F0["D!N=6TR=V]R9'L@;6%P('L@,BHJ)%\@?2`P+BY`
M<VEZ97,@?2`](`H@('%W*"!O;F4@='=O('1H<F5E(&YI;F4@<V5V96YT965N
M('1H:7)T>2UO;F4@<VEX='DM='=O(`H)("!O;F4M:'5N9')E9"UA;F0M=&AI
M<G1Y('1W;RUH=6YD<F5D+6%N9"UF:69T>2US:7@*"2`@9FEV92UH=6YD<F5D
M+6%N9"UT=V5L=F4@*3L*"G!R:6YT(&5V86P@)W%Q?"<N=6YP86-K*"=U*B<L
M(#P\)TI/2T4G*2XG?"<["DTP,B%,.38]23M66$`[5CA`-$9=33@V6$`Z-EE&
M.#995#Q'1$`Z-RQ`/2<I03U&-4P[)D5..5(A5#HG*4\*-CTV/4@H)S%(.3(A
M,SA6750Z-RU(*"953SM7*5,K0&!@"F`*2D]+10H*(R<C"FUY("1N=6T@/2`Q
M.PIM>2`D<VEZ93L*9F]R("1S:7IE("A`<VEZ97,I('L*("!P<FEN="!E=F%L
M("=Q<7PG+G5N<&%C:R@G=2HG+"`\/"=*3TM%)RDN)WPG.PI-(D4M53DF,44[
M1E%9*"<Q2#DW1$`Z)C5!/$(A02@F+4@X-E%,.3991SDR(5DY-E%,.38P0#E'
M*4\[,B%/"DT]1C52*"<Q2#DR(4@Z-E%,*T)83B)`2$(R,B%!.S(A+#M7*40H
M)%5#-%9=4CLF-50Z(B%/.4(A5#HF-$`*334W(5`Y-RE3.R9=5#TF-5(Q)B5-
M.T(A+3M675(H,F!`,5<I13@W,44\5S!`-%<]3SQ&,5,[-B5.*"<]2`I-.U!(
M0#DW.44\0B%,.C<Y13DB)$`H)$1'.R900#A7-50H)T5//3<H0#A&-5,](F!$
M/%9%6CDR(50[4B%2"DTZ-BE".U994R@R*%LB0$DS.U(A5#HF-$`[)C5'.C9=
M3B@F+4\[-E5!.T8Q13Q"(50]-RE./%(A5#M2(4@*33HW+$`T5B52.58U3CTB
M4"HH12U!/$8]13M',$$H(B$S.3991"@F14XH)EU5/$(A0CDW+50H(C%3.C=)
M10I-*#(H*B)$)4XY(B%4.B8T0#16)5(Y5C5./2(A63DV44P\4E`J*$4I3SHV
M/4@](B1`*"0Y03LF4$`Z-EA!"DTH(B$C,B1!*#(D02$T1#TE*#(H*B)$)4XY
M(B%4.B8T0"DG+4D^1C1`.59=13Q2(4\]1C52*"<Q2#DR(4@*33HV44PK0EA.
M*"8D0#Q6754[1C!`.U8X0#@R(50Y-RE2.C8I3#DR(4(X-S%4.R8T0#DV65,]
M-C53*#!),PI-.%<I13@V55,H)EU&*"<Q13Q'*4\\0E!`.#991"@B,4X]-E12
M/59=4CDG3$0[1S5-/S(A8#Y53$`I)EE5"DT[,F!=+S)@42@C7$`I5D%%.#8P
M0#A674TY-RQ'*"-(0"E6044X-C%3*"8M3SLV-$<H)55=*"<I3SLF44D*,CM&
M/$`Y)EU7.T(A5#HF-$`Z)D5,.R)8*@I@"DI/2T4*"B`@)&YU;2`]("1N=6T@
M*B`R.PI]"@H*<')I;G0@979A;"`G<7%\)RYU;G!A8VLH)W4J)RP\/"=*3TM%
M)RDN)WPG.PI-*$4I23E6050H,BA`/%8M4CDV)4T\4B%4.B8T0#LF-4<Z-EU.
M*"8M3SLV54$[1C%%/$)00"A'+44[1C!`"DTZ-EA`/29!12@G/4@[5E%%*"8I
M3#M6740^,B%,.38]23M66$$H0$@J-%9<0#TF044H)2U!/$8]13M',$`*33XV
M-4P[)RQ,(D(I,CM614<Z)S!,*"0Y(3,D4$`R-%A!*"(A(S(D)3(Q5#1!*$!(
M*C`V640H)S%(.3(A3`I-.38]23M66$`Y5EU%/%(A3SU&-5(H)S%(.3(A2#HV
M44PK0EA.*"8D0#Q6754[1C!`.U8X0#@R(50Y-RE2"DTZ-BE,.3(A0C@W,50[
M)C1`.3994STV-5,H,$DS.%<I13@V55,H)EU&*"<Q13Q'*4\\0E!`.#991"@B
M,4X*33TV5%(]5EU2.2=,1#M'-4T_,B%(.38E1#Q2(4,[5E5%*"<I3SLF44D[
M1CQ`.29=5SM"(50Z)C1`.B9%3`I-.R)8*B)$)$`[-B5.*"8M3SLV-5,H)RE5
M.T9923M&/$`[5SE%/$(A5#HF-$`Z)D5,.R)00#TF044H)%%%"DTY5D5/.T(A
M0SM654TX-EE$.3<H0#E7*4$X1RQ`.B9%32@F)5,H)D%%*"<I53M'+"H\)B53
M/2(A03M&,$`*33XV-4P[)RQ,(D(I-SHF)50I5RQ`.59=23M&/$`[5EA`.U<Y
M13Q"(50Z)C52.3-<02A`2"HU)EQ`/59!20I-.%9`0#TF044H)RU/.R8Q23DW
M*$`\1C50.R9%13Q24$`]5D54.B(A02@F+5(X-TE%.2(A3#M674LH)D5."DTH
M)D%)/%(A13XV-5,K8$A"-$<U3BLB(5,Z-RA!*"(A*3TG+$`X-EA`.#950CTW
M+4@K(B%4.B8U4CDR/5,*+R@G,5<[4B%/.4(A5#HF-4TH,B@J"F`*2D]+10H*
M(R!*;VME(&9R;VT@4W1E=F5N($H@3W=E;G,*(R!#;V1E(&9R;VT@36EC:&%E
M;"!'(%-C:'=E<FX@/'-C:'=E<FY`<W1A<FUE9&EA+FYE=#X*(R!'964L('=A
5<VXG="!T:&%T(%=/4E1(($E4/R$*
`
JOKE
You can all club me now.
--
Michael G Schwern schwern@pobox.com
http://www.pobox.com/~schwern
/(?:(?:(1)[.-]?)?\(?(\d{3})\)?[.-]?)?(\d{3})[.-]?(\d{4})(x\d+)?/i
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